Day Nine

Yes, I know I'm back to the unoriginal titles for the posts. Sorry. I challenge you all out there to come up with 365 different creative titles for blog posts about dieting and working out. No seriously any help would be greatly appreciated, I'm dying here.

Today started out as a pretty slow day. There wasn't a whole lot going on at job one until about the last couple of hours, so the day just sort of dragged on. To make it worse, every time I went to the break room to get coffee or water, there was the giant box of bagels and bread staring at me the whole time. You know how hard it is for a Jew to say no to a bagel? I think we're actually genetically predisposed to needing them for survival, sort of like salt and water. The good news is I usually don't give in to the midday temptation of taking a bagel back to the edit bay with me, although on occasion I have. Bringing my lunch with me and making sure I had plenty of snacks around to keep me full all day really helped me fight the bagel craving. I think I heard one call me a wimp for backing down, but I might have just been hearing things.

Today was just a walking on the treadmill day, but for some reason it just felt really good today. I did a fairly brisk walk and really got the old heartbeat up and pumping. It was one of those workouts where even though I didn't really do much at all, I was still walking back to the locker room afterwards like I was hot shit. I even gave a head nod to the weird dude in the locker room that stares at himself topless in the mirror to admire his muscles. I felt like Travolta at the beginning of Saturday Night Fever. It was one of those feelings where if you were working out at home you'd slap your significant other on the butt afterwards and say "Yeah!" Butt slapping of significant others not recommended while at the gym. Talk to your doctor first before starting a butt slapping regimen. Use only as directed.

Unfortunately, this mood was soured a bit by going to job 2 which is ending this week. It's difficult even walking in there, knowing it's almost over. The whole time I was working it felt like those last couple of days before graduation, but without the fun partying and enjoying yourself. Just the weird trepidation of "what's next?" There are positives etc. and I'll have more on that in the next post.

Another Manic Monday

Again to all my faithful readers, I apologize that I didn't get this post written up last night. I had to work really late and only had time last night to eat a bit, shower and pass out. And kudos to those of you who put together that the title of this post and the last post are lyrics from The Bangles "Manic Monday". And for those of you who didn't figure it out. That's okay. You're not missing much.

A couple of people of have asked me to talk a bit about my dietary plans while I'm going through this journey toward insanity a.k.a. the marathon and I figured now would be the best time since as of last night I started on the original low-carb diet. No not Atkins. Although you have to love a diet that tells you bacon is good for you. Last night was in fact the beginning of Passover and believe me nothing will make you want to eat carbs less than the knowledge that your only option is matzah. For those of you who don't know, we Jews eat matzah to honor the fleeing of the Israelites out of Egypt. We ran so fast, that our bread didn't have time to rise and thus was only baked into a delicious cracker like food. That is also I believe that last time anyone saw a Jew run. I'll wikipedia that to double check. However, it makes me wish they would have grabbed a few things of beef and carried them on their back instead. Wouldn't it be better if Passover was instead known as the Festival of the Medium Rare Steak? I'd have Seder every night.

A lot of my gentile co-workers ask me if it sucks to give up bread etc. for a week and I say "Of Course," but by focusing only on the lack of bread, you really miss the point of Passover. Yes it is predominately about remembering our time as slaves and what tremendous acts of G-d, bravery and faith it took to get us out, but I say that there is another level to it. Holidays are in part meant to be times of reflection and I think that Passover offers the best time to focus on what we eat and how imbalanced our diets and subsequently our lives really are. I could rattle off a huge litany of foods that I am going without this week and yes I will miss them, but it gives me a chance to see how focused I am sometimes on just one food and hopefully I'll benefit from finding other alternatives to my regular routine such as salads.

Okay but enough about faith etc. I promised I would talk more about food and also my workout, plus the results of the first weigh in. You see how I set that up as a tease. That's marketing! Please don't scroll to the bottom and see the results. Remember we're on this journey together now.

I don't really know what to say in regards to food except I'm trying hard to be mindful of portion control and just overall what foods I put in my body. That didn't stop me from slipping a bit and having a brisket dip the other night at Junior's Deli however, but during the week I'm pretty spot on. I take my lunch with me to work everyday which I find accomplishes three goals. One, it saves money, which I obviously need to do right now. Two, it ensures that I have something to eat if things get hectic and I can't get away from my edit bay for a while. And three, it puts me in control over what I'm eating. That's also why I've been trying to cook and eat dinner at home more often. I'm not forced into having my choices reduced to what someone puts on their menu and I can control the portion size as well. Someone that messaged me mentioned snacks. There is nothing I love more than snack foods, but I have been focusing on replacing pretty much all of them with fruits and vegetables. I have started packing a banana or a couple little clementine oranges in my lunch. Also, one of my favorite snack foods which also helps me get my vegetables in and still kind of makes it feel like you're cheating is sugar snap peas. They're freaking good, don't make you feel all crappy like carrots can and they have a bit of a sweetness to them that makes feel like you're eating candy, if candy were crispy and good for you.

Wow this is a long post. Sorry. This is what happens when you ask a fat man to talk about food. I could go on for hours. So let me talk a bit about the workout and let's call it a day. I was feeling super sore on Monday because of all that awesome kickball action so I decided to try the eliptical again. Since Monday was a run/walk day, I still incorporated that element of training into the eliptical, where I would go slower for 90 seconds and then increase my speed considerably for 60. I don't know if the same principle does apply away from the treadmill, but I wasn't hurting as much and the workout felt really good. I do love the eliptical. I've decided after last Friday's depressing showing on the treadmill that I would repeat week one of my Couch to 5K plan. I'm going to spread it out to hopefully 2 1/2 months instead of just two. I might even go three with it. I'm trying to be kind to myself as my brother suggested.

And now to the part you've patiently waited for, the weigh in. Okay, probably most of you don't care, but I had to hype something and really I had very little to work with to entice you to stay. Maybe next post I'll put a cute picture of my cat at the bottom to keep you reading until the end. Anyways, as of yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale I was 275, down three pounds from day one. At this rate, I'll burn off 156 pounds by the day of the marathon. Putting me at a scary 122. Yeah...something tells me the weight loss will plateau at some point, but until I'll keep working at keeping it at a peak.

Thanks for reading!

Sunday Is My Funday

So I decided that today was going to be a day off from the gym and any serious working out. I don't want to burn myself out plus it's just nice to have a day to relax and not have much of anything to do. Sunday is my day to take part in one of my favorite past times. No, not swilling cheap beer and watching my beloved Raiders embarrass me yet again- that joy doesn't start until the Fall. No, Sunday to me is kickball. Yes that's right, kickball: the same game you remember playing as a kid on the playground of your elementary school. Don't mock it, it's freaking fun. It's pretty much exactly the same game you remember growing up just played by adults. There are leagues everywhere so I highly recommend looking into one, just go to kickball.com.

Anyway, one of the joys of playing kickball is it gives me a chance to enjoy the fantastic So-Cal weather and run around carefree, but most of all I get to hang out with friends and enjoy not exerting myself. Think about how little you run around etc. playing baseball or softball and then multiply that by the circumference of a big red rubber ball. That's what makes it so great.

Unfortunately, today our team was well short of the amount of players we need to play. So we played a whole game with only eight players. Bear in mind that you are allowed 11 people in the field defensively. So between the playing defense and running the bases, this was easily the most exhausting game of kickball I've ever played and I loved every last second of it! It's great when you can go out and get exercise and not really feel like you are. Kicking the crap out of a big red ball is definitely the cure for what ails me, even if it's just momentary. Tomorrow, it's back to the gym and my first official weigh-in after the first week back in the gym.

Ellipterrific

I just want to apologize in advance for the tardiness of this post. Between going to the gym, having to work and trying to spend time with my wife, I was a bit busy yesterday and I passed out early.

On day six, I decided to break up the monotony of the treadmill by working out on the elliptical. I was a bit worried at first because in the past the elliptical has had the tendency to hurt my knees etc., but this session went really well. However, I'm not buying the whole low impact schtick they try to tell you about the elliptical. Sure, it may not hurt your hips and knees as much as pounding away on a treadmill, but my heart was racing the whole time I was on the damn thing. So there was a high impact on my cardiovascualar system. That's why I love the elliptical, it kicks your butt and that's exactly what I needed- something to snap me out of the funk I was in on Friday.

On an interesting side note, I get regular emails for discounts at restaurants and events around LA. I received one the other day for half off of a Botox treatment. Now I'm no genius, but something tells me discounted elective procedures are not good for me. That didn't stop me from looking at my checking account online to see if I had the funds. I think I've been living in LA too long. I don't even have any wrinkles, but I feel like I'm missing out on a fundamental element of living in the City of Angels. My wife even asked me one day if it's possible to have elective work done on our cat, something I think he'd be into given his personality. It does make you wonder about what we're willing to put ourselves through to look good. For me, I'd rather log hours on an elliptical, then minutes under a needle having botulism injected into my face.

The Yogi Berra Principle

A quick disclaimer before this post, be forewarned the following post might not be as funny as the others today. I just wanted to apologize in advance, but it's Friday, it's been a long week and I'm looking at having to work through the weekend because of other people's ineptitude. So with that here's the fifth post.

Yogi Berra, the former Yankees catcher, once said that "baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical". While Yogi's math might be a little off, the principle of what he was trying to say is sound. With the right mind set, there's really nothing you can't accomplish. That certainly was the theme of today's workout. Unfortunately, I was on the opposite side of it. Today was a run/walk day and started out really well. I felt good, there wasn't any soreness and the upbeat music had me believing that not only was I going to have a great workout, for the first time, I actually really believed that I could do this. I started envisioning success and what it would be like to cross the finish line.

That was until the other half suddenly kicked in. It's amazing how quickly one's mind can be changed. It started with the left shin. It just started to hurt a lot. So I started walking a bit longer than 90 seconds until the pain subsided and then I'd run again, but the pain got worse. I came close to just calling it quits for the day. Long story short I limped through the workout. No great mental recovery story here. I just knew I couldn't let myself stop.

This was the first workout where I didn't feel better afterward. I actually felt worse mentally than I did when I went in. The pain in my leg just had me questioning the whole thing. Don't worry though, I'm not giving up less than a week in. I've done that too much in my life, this goal is different. I'm just mentally gassed that's all and without the mental, it's hard to do the physical. When you're hungry, you eat. When your car is empty, you put gas in it. What do you do with a mind that has nothing in the tank? All I can say is thank G-d it's Friday.

The Fourth

Today was a better day for me mentally, for the most part. While the stress of unemployment still lingers, at least today felt like a good day at job one. First, it was pay day so that was obviously cool and then I got some positive feedback on a project that I was working on. Unfortunately, I still need to wait for the boss man to see it, which means I'll probably have to start all over again from scratch. Such is the life of an editor. Which is why I don't want to be strictly an editor.

On another positive note, the traffic wasn't horrendous today so it only took me about 20 minutes to make it to the gym. So that was great. Today was another off day, so it was just a brisk 30 minute walk on the treadmill. Nothing super exciting. My right leg felt tense for about 20 minutes of the walk though, but then loosened up I guess. Such is the mystery that is my body. I have an easier time explaining how they get the cream into a Twinkie then I do anything physiological (is that the right word?). Perhaps research is in order.

Every day when I go to the gym, I have to walk past the spinning class. Does anyone know why they never turn the lights on in there? Always seemed weird to me. I keep thinking that would be kinda fun to try one night, but then I'd have to listen to their music and I don't think I could take 30 plus minutes of Des'ree's "Love Will Save The Day." I didn't even like that song when it was okay to like it and I'm certainly not going to start now. However, it did get me thinking about music that motivates me. I know I mentioned AC/DC in the Day One post, but I'm going to need a whole lot more than that to get me through 26.2 miles. If nothing else so I don't get bored. So far I'm including Journey's "Don't Stop Believing", AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" and "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito from the Karate Kid Soundtrack, as suggested by my brother. I actually looked up the lyrics for that song because the chorus as I hear it goes "You're Best Around mumble mumble keep you down." In the middle of the lyrics, the person who transcribed them actually wrote and I quote "Inspiring Guitar Solo." I don't think I could have put it better myself. I'd love to watch Karate Kid on mute with the close captioning just so I could see "Inspiring Guitar Solo" scroll across the screen. Awwwwesome. Now that I'm all inspired by that guitar solo, maybe I'll go to the beach and work on my crane kick this weekend. If I could just find an old wise Asian man to show me how to do it properly and teach me life lessons at the same time.

Hit me up with some comments about songs that inspire you to do great things or just inspire you to do anything like crane kick a guy in the face when he tries to sweep your leg.

And On The Third Day...

Today was a bit rough- not physically so much, but mentally. Unfortunately, boredom at work leads to messing around on the Internet, which just reminds me how many jobs there aren't out there. At least I have one until next Friday. And then the second job more than likely ends on April 20th. It's weird- the whole time I was mucking about at work the only thought that went through my head was "well at least I get to go to the gym later." I can honestly say that was one of the few times I've had that thought. However, the madness didn't stop there. There must have been an accident or something on the 405 today because it took me nearly an hour to get to the gym. FYI, that drive should only take 15 minutes tops. This agony was compounded by the fact that I had pee baaaadly. I've been drinking a lot of water lately. Anyways, enough about me...oh wait, right.

I tried incorporating some pre- and post-workout stretching into my routine today. I know I should have been doing that all along, but I haven't been. It's a marathon people not a sprint. Literally. My right hammy was bugging me a bit when I got to the gym so the stretching really seemed to help a lot. It actually felt better after a stretching and workout regimen. Weird. I'm no doctor...so I won't even bother attempting to explain how that works. I guess hammies work in mysterious ways. I like saying hammy for hamstring by the way. Reminds me of that menu item at Denny's, the "Moon Over My Hammy," but I digress.

Today was a run/walk day which started out really well. Then I tried to push the speed a touch higher and that got me. So I walked a little more and slowed myself down a bit. Then there was this trainer at the gym that kept giving me this look every time he walked toward me. It was like this "What is that fat ass doing here?" sort of look. All I could think about was punching him in his smug face and suddenly I got a second wind on the treadmill. I was able to not only run a bit longer but even did a higher speed than before. So thank you smug, bald, douche bag trainer, you've become more motivation for me to do this. Maybe he was jealous of my lush head of hair. I mean, it is pretty magnificent.

And on a final note, as I was working out there was a piece on CNN about Childhood Obesity in America. I think it's a series because I could have sworn I saw it last night as well. Anyways, I don't know what they were saying because I was having issues reading the close captioning, but it must have been serious because Anderson Cooper looked really concerned. There was a lower 3rd (a caption in layman's terms) that said obesity prematurely ages people. I was thinking to myself, when I'm clean-shaven etc. people think I look like I'm in my early to mid 20's, but all this time I could have been passing for a high schooler. Damn you obesity! You've robbed me of my youth for the last time!

Day Two

The following blog post is brought to you by the letter "S" for soreness and socks (more on that to follow) and the number "2" for obvious reasons, but for my slow friends, it's because today was the second day of my training.

I woke a bit sore this morning. I don't know if it was because of the workout yesterday or because of my less than great mattress. Since the pain was mostly in my back, I'm inclined to believe it was the latter. However, my legs were a little sore today, especially in my hips. That could also be due to the not so great office chair I sit in all day while I'm editing. I know- so many questions, so few answers. I'll have a better idea Thursday after day 3.

I also decided to pick up the first pieces of my running ensemble today, socks. I don't know if the ones I got are exactly the type that were recommended to me by my brother but I bought a couple different kinds to try them out and see which ones I like for now. I tried out some Nike Dri-Fit socks today. I hate Nike's shoes, but they sure can make apparel. The socks were great, except for the little plastic piece that held the socks together. Fucking thing wouldn't break and being that I was at the gym, I didn't have any scissors on me. Long story short a brawl ensued in the locker room between me and that damn plastic piece. After a tough battle, I came out the victor. Just another victory over the challenges that await me.

Today was an "off" day in the couch to 5k plan so I just did a brisk walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Even that felt like it kicked my butt a bit. I definitely have my work cut out for me, but then again as my mom says, nothing worth doing is easy.

Day One

Warning to my readers, I have the tendency to use bad language when I talk. It's not due to lack of education, it's just who I am. And since I want this blog to be an accurate reflection of me and my journey, I've decided to keep as unedited as possible. I'll do my best however, to find euphemisms as much as possible.

So today I started the first part of my long journey toward marathondom (patent pending on that word). And naturally I had to include the mandatory first picture as well. I promised my wife I wouldn't do any topless photos for fear I might excite the ladies that read this blog.

I started my training with a bit of research and decided to go with a regimen I found online to start called couch to 5k. It's a plan that helps lard butts like me train to run 3 miles regularly in two months or so depending on how hard you want to push yourself. So the plan calls for doing a regimen of running and walking to help build up your stamina and tolerance. I started with a brisk 5 minute walk. I then ran for a minute and walked for 1 1/2 minutes off and on for about 20 minutes. I followed that with 5 more minutes of brisk walking. All told I did about 2 miles in distance and I was quite winded. The long hiatus from the gym definitely took its toll on me.

Here are a few tips for other husky gentlemen or full figured ladies that are interested in getting into the gym that worked for me today. One, if you feel nervous about people staring at you when you go into the gym to workout, I say fuck 'em. If they can't appreciate what it is you are trying to accomplish there, then they are probably an asshole and not worth your time or thoughts. Just go in like you belong there (which you do) and do what you came to do (workout). I find it also helps to have "F#*k 'em" music playing in your ear. For me it's anything AC/DC, but use what you see fit. Another thing that worked for me today was to not look at the clock during the running portion. No matter how much you stare at it, it's not going to count any faster. Instead try looking at the speed you're going or better yet watch the calorie count go up as you burn away more and more. Either way stay positive.

At the end of day one I weigh 278 pounds.

What the hell was I thinking?

My name is Chris and I have decided to run next year's Los Angeles Marathon. I've never done a long distance run before. In fact the last time I ran much at all was in high school when they made me run two miles. So what would compel me to just up and participate in one of the most grueling, physical challenges out there? Pride I guess.

Let me give you a little back story on how this all came about. My brother, Scott, and our friend Beth, ran in yesterday's marathon. Inspired by their efforts, Beth's husband decided he wanted to run in next year's race. My dad got caught up in his energy and decided he too was going to do it. Well, when you're 65 year old dad turns to you and asks if you'll join him in the journey what else is there to say, but HELL NO... so I agreed to do it too.

So now, a little about me. I am a self-proclaimed husky gentleman. I've never run a marathon before, let alone any run of significance, at least not since gym class in high school. I'm a fried food loving, dessert eating fanatic and like a lot of Americans, I live a relatively sedentary lifestyle. Also, like many Americans, I too am facing the specter of unemployment. Shortly after my wedding, my company announced it was closing down. The experience made me go through a wide range of emotions, fear, anger, confusion, but mostly depression. As such, I stopped working out with the regularity I once did and subsequently put on weight.

So why the heck am I doing this to myself? Why would I want to go from being a relatively comfortable couch potato to a sore, cramped, exhausted road runner? Very good question. There are a few reasons why. One is to help check something off of my bucket list. I've always been interested running a marathon. Especially after my friend ran the Boston Marathon a few years ago. Two is the challenge. Even though I haven't really been the athletic type, I've always tried to find ways to challenge myself physically and mentally. Three is to help spur myself back into working out regularly and getting into shape. And finally, I want to regain some of the confidence in myself that the job hunt process has taken from me. Nothing creates more doubt in yourself then the sound of silence as no calls to ask you for an interview.

My main goal for this marathon is to just finish it. I'm hoping to get it done in roughly 6 1/2 hours, which according to my calculator widget puts me on an average pace of about 4.03mph and 14.88 minute mile. I think however, as my training continues, that goal may change a bit. I at least want to get across when my dad does!

I'm hoping all of you who are reading this will join me in this crazy journey of trial and error, pain and success. Any words of encouragement, advice etc. are always welcome. With that, let day one begin!