So for all of you who have never lived in LA or been here in the month of June, there is a regular occurrence known as June Gloom. It's essentially a marine layer that covers the city for about half the day about every day of the month of June, but usually around 1 or 2 it is completely burnt off by the sun. Leave it to Angelinos to be super depressed just because we can't see the sun for a few hours. Lord have mercy on us if it rains. People are about ready to kill themselves on those days.
June Gloom has taken on a different meaning for me. It's more of the foggy mental state I'm in lately. I've gotten a couple more job rejections since my return from Utah and it's really put me in a funk. Furthermore it's killing my desire to do anything. Not just workout, but anything at all. I just don't have the motivation to be very productive. I'm bored as hell because I'm essentially stuck in my apartment all day and even the prospect of cooking dinner isn't exciting me anymore. Despite the fact that I enjoy using my new knife skills that I learned a few months ago.
And I'm just pissed off a lot. Pissed I can't find a job. And when I do, I'm either over qualified, not qualified enough or I just don't know the right damn people to get the job. I'm pissed off because I'm noooooo where near where I need to be at this date to do a marathon in March. And now I feel like I'm just going to let everyone and myself down come game time. Like I said in one of my earlier posts, I just don't have much in my mental gas tank and I don't know what to do. I figured coming home from Utah would be a boost, but it just seemed to make things worse. There I at least had family and I was an Uncle, which is cool. And here I'm just another unemployed guy beating his head against the wall wondering "what the fuck?"
The good news is I'm going to Vegas this weekend for my dad's birthday, which will be super fun. It's impossible to be depressed when you're in Vegas. I challenge anyone to prove otherwise. It's just so damn fun there. I'm glad I don't live in Vegas because I'd never get anything done. Unless I could get paid to drink giant plastic cups full of Pina Colada all day. And I did go workout last night for the first time this week. But that was because my wife was going so it was easy to motivate myself. I am going to take a long walk today to see if it helps my mental state and also to see if it will jolt my workout motivation. I'm really hoping setting a nice goal for myself and then accomplishing it will give me that little boost I need.
Sorry for the depressing post today, but I've had a lot on my mind lately. And now hopefully you all understand why I haven't been writing as much as I should be. I'm going to really work on being better I swear. And if I drop off a bit please get on me about it. I need the regular kicks in the ass to keep going. Even if they hurt a bit.
Okay, so I guess it's time for that "BIG BUTT KICK" ( not the butt, the kick)!! This is no time to feel sorry for yourself. I get why you do--now get over it! Asking for some help might be a start, or just getting back out on the training plan--everyday might help. You can't expect to feel better if you just sit and wait for it to happen. You need to look at job-hunting like a job! You need to do it everyday to your best ability. Get up, get a plan for the day, work the plan. Same thing with the work outs and training. I've been coasting quite a while on my fitness goals too. Dad and I are sending you a fitbit. Once you have it, we can all twitter our daily results and see whose met there goals. I think there should be prizes for lbs lost and miles walked. My goal is 10,000 steps a day. Yours will be different. I also will track my food daily, you should too. You will be amazed by the info and how you can use it to actually chart your progress! Okay, butt kick over! Now here's a big hug and a kiss, because I am your mom and I love you more than you know.
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